5 Foods We Suck At Making At Home

Five Foods We Suck At Making At Home

MonkeyPicks: You know how we do it.  5 picks. Never wrong. Lets go.  

Reminder: The weekend starts on Thursday night this week – because bar menus have better prices than the main menu.

#1 – Pizza – Be honest

Why: We don’t have the right oven – STOP you fancy people with your wood burning pizza ovens.  I’ve done the research and there are actually less people who have pizza ovens than there are fans of the Houston Astros right now.  We don’t have the right toppings. We don’t have the right sauce. We don’t have the right pizza dough.  

#2 – Nachos – Don’t judge. 

Why: We just don’t have what it takes…SEMI PRO – The right plastic container, perfectly round chips, canned cheese is a must, and of course those canned jalapeno slices.

#3  – Smoked Turkey Legs – Crowd pleaser.

Why: You don’t have carnival rides at your house = strike 1, the right turkey leg supplier = strike 2, you can’t pay with coupons at home = strike 3.  And, in most MLB games that means your out. I say most because we all know about those guys that get favorable calls when they shouldn’t.

#4- Sushi – Pronounced: soo·shee

Why: Common (feel bad if you didn’t know) knowledge it takes 5 years to become proficient at making Sushi.  Those super cool knives are required, and fish roe = which is pronounced like Row and we all know how hard it is to get into an Ivy League school to be on Crew.    

#5 – Gyro – NOT to be confused with a GY-RO.

Why: No one has the right equipment at home (that’s what she said), and secondly who has time to just create those perfectly stacked towers of meat.  I think the girls and guys from the Netflix Show Cheer could build one but only if Monica Aldama was there to direct it. GET IT – They stack cheerleaders… never mind.

Tip for the Week – Calories don’t count on the weekend .  Meaning – Weekends are not considered cheat days = BUFFETS are in scope.  Weekends are for the BUFFETS.

Disclaimer: Teams with the most points generally win, most of the time.  Results may vary. Don’t feed the animals. If you bet based on this…you should be in the Zoo!

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