Monkey Picks: March 13-19, 2020

MonkeyPicks: You know how we do it.  5 picks. Never wrong. Lets go.  

Reminder: The weekend starts on Thursday night this week – because Daylight savings and stuff, you’re welcome.

#1 – F1 –  Australian Grand Prix Qualifying*

  • PICK – Here is my pick and I’m going out on a limb. – Hamilton.
  • Why – Because he wins everything.  And, his hair game is on point and he dated Nicole Sherzinger & like 10 other beautiful women – Ladies he is still single.    
  • *Also, why in the hell am I talking about PRACTICE…I mean qualifying.  Because F1 is basically won from the front row EVERY race…Hey F1, might want to look into that.

#2 NBA – Pelicans vs. Jazz, Clippers, Hawks, and the Spurs – Yes they play them all at the same time. (Why do people ask me stupid questions?).  

  • PICK – I talked with LaVar Ball and he said the Pelicans will win them all…and the playoff!…Clearly he is not the MonkeyPicks – My animal sense says – 3 wins and 1 loss.
  • Why – Hawks and Spurs suck this year…automatic W’s…sorry not sorry.  And I like their Bayou Boy’s shoes too much to not think it won’t bring them another W.  

#3 Football –  XFL – Houston vs. the other team they are playing…I mean the Guardians

  • Pick – Is it pronounced? “How-sten” or “HYOO-Sten” – Who cares…They win.  People drink beer. People celebrate. Sports.
  • Why – Because Guardians of the Galaxy was a great movie (Top 10 or so…easily top 100) and this team is ruining that name for me. Plus, they’re not as good, and there is that. 

#4 Hockey – St. Louis vs. San Jose – Match of two teams whose first name starts with “Sss”

  • Pick – This is a hard one because one team is good and the other team sucks – St. Louis and I don’t want people to have the Blues.  Enough sadness in the world right now.
  • Why – W.C. Handy and “Show Me”.  If that doesn’t make sense..GOOGLE IT.  …oh and St. Louis is 10 times better if you go by stats and stuff. Lastly – Think about this…How can Sharks live outside the water? – They can’t…some one is STUPID!

#5 NASCAR – Atlanta – a bunch of teams vs. the rear tire changer on Brad’s team

  • Pick – Brad Keselowski – Strike That – Sorry Brad but you look like you put on a little weight this year.  I’m going with Jimmy Johnson…just kidding (he is awesome and all but I forgot the first lap when they put him in front doesn’t count.  My Bad) – OK for real this time. – Kevin Harvick. That is my final answer.
  • Why – Because I just feel it.  And, sometimes you have to just go with your INSTINCT (God given in my case).  And, Kevin is going to be mad when no one beats Kyle Busch in “BountyGate” – FACT.  Don’t make Kevin mad. Lastly, facts/data/stuff say he should win. Please don’t let me down Kevin.  This is big stuff we are doing here.

Tip for the Week – Always remember to pop the chain – Domingo Ayala

Disclaimer: Teams with the most points generally win, most of the time.  Results may vary. Don’t feed the animals. If you bet based on this…you should be in the Zoo!

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